Receiving
I have really been working on ‘receiving’ lately. Compliments, help, grace, time - I am really bad at receiving those things. I think I first realized this when I noticed that I really dislike opening gifts. Reacting to gifts makes me vomit inside! I feel like no matter what my reaction be, it is not going to appropriately express how I actually feel about it. Or like when a group sings ‘Happy Birthday’ to you – even after a few cocktails, I feel extremely awkward. I think the most relatable ‘bad at receiving’ action is when complimented. I am so quick to brush off a compliment with a lame sarcastic comment that most likely starts with ‘Your Mom…’. Why is this? In all of these examples, people are most likely being genuine and I have a difficult time allowing those things to make me feel good.
When did I learn to shun these super nice things? I don’t think that it is something born in us; Lillian is AWESOME at receiving. If you pour out love to that girl, she will take it, absorb it, and in most cases send it right back at you in a wonderful way. Give that girl a compliment, or the smallest bit of attention and she soaks it up. I really do think that it benefits her. I never want to take her ability to receive away from her so I am really going to work on getting better at it myself.
A great place to start? Receiving help. Something about being a young new mom makes me feel like I should be super woman. Cleaning, cooking, working out, looking hip ALL THE TIME. This is just NOT realistic. It’s not. Stop doing it. I am so lucky to have people around me offering to care for Lillian to give me some time off every now and then. Or even Brian wanting to care for her at the end of the day. Sometimes I deny these offers because I feel guilty for wanting that time away from my sweet kid, or I worry that if I accept these offers, I will be perceived as a bad lazy mom. The reality is that this time needs to happen so that I can recharge and come out on the other side being a better mom to Lillian.
So there you have it. That is what I’m really focusing on right now. If you see me rejecting the option to receive, call me out on it, for real. I may respond with something about ‘Your Mom…’, but really, I will appreciate it!
Aunt Kristin on June 14th, 2010
Seems as though we’re both learning a lot about “receiving” these days. What you say is so true … but so hard to accept sometimes. Not only does “receiving” benefit everyone involved … but I’ve also come to learn that one can be so much more productive when other people are allowed to help. So I’ll keep reminding you if you keep reminding me